Buzzfeed News Extract - 23 Jun 16
How To Make Up With Friends And Family If You Fell Out Over The EU
Dawn Kaffel, counsellor at Coupleworks
Is it about the EU or is it something deeper? Is it about how we communicate with each other? Perhaps we’re not very good at listening or making time for each other?
When you’re hearing arguments from all over the place, especially in the last week, it’s really given couples an amazing opportunity to vent and throw everything at each other.
You need to say, ‘This has taken us a long, long way away from where we’d want to be.’ Never mind the political parties – you need to say, ‘We as a couple need to establish a safe, secure connection between us.’
It might be about spending more time with each other, coming home from work early or going out together. You’ve got to say, ‘We’ve become so consumed with the referendum we’ve neglected ourselves.’ It doesn’t mean going for an expensive night out, it’s just about going for a walk together. It’s about giving out the message: ‘I want that closeness back.’
As for the politics of it, there has been backstabbing and horrible things have been said which often can’t be unsaid. But it’s about how badly they want a working relationship. Cameron is going to go sooner or later and Boris has the chance to step up if it goes his way – so there might not be much need for them to make up.
Backbenchers in the Conservative party may want a divorce [in the event of a Remain vote] and it’s the same with couples – they can come to therapy wanting to work through things and understand what’s gone so badly wrong, with the best will in the world.
But therapy can also make them realise that actually they’ve reached the end of the road and the best course of action would be to split.”